Isn't she the most beautiful creature? So innocent, so pure, so helpless, so wonderful!!! I am completely in love and captivated by her! She is where my desires and energy are focused. What can I say about the most amazing experience of becoming a mother? Is there anything that is more extreme than that? Your whole life changes forever. I don't sleep, I try to remember to eat and drink but when she calls I run to her. I hold her, I talk to her, I care for her, I sing to her, I rock her, I love her. I love to be alone with her, to be able to focus on just her and enjoy her smell, her sounds, her touch. She has just started to notice things around her. She started smiling at 6 weeks and "talking" at 7 weeks. When she smiled at me it made me cry. Here she is this wonderful baby recognizing me. She has "talked" to me just today with her mouth and little noises. When she needs something she tries so hard to tell me what it is. I am getting better at figuring out what she is telling me. Can you imagine needing something and not being able to tell anyone or do it yourself? No wonder babies cry, how frustrating that must feel! It makes me smile when I know she is hungry and she can tell that I am going to feed her, she starts to breathe in an anticipatory way that is so darling! If I take too long or get distracted by one of the other kids she gives me the saddest cry that breaks my heart, as if she is saying, "Mom, don't forget me!" I wish I could just spend hours holding all of my kids separately. I wish I could divide myself into fourths, however I know that the only one who would let me hold them for any length of time is my Sam. Meg and Kate are way too busy for me! I am grateful for this brief and sacred moment in their lives where I am the mommy who they look for when they are hurt, in trouble, need help, need to show someone their latest moves/accomplishments, or just want loves. How fleeting this time is! I woke up today to realize that my baby is almost 2 months old, it feels like I was just pregnant yesterday! It must be the lack of sleep, life is blending itself together!
